Breaking Plates

Again I want to share that I do not hate my father but I also want to add that I do fear him.  He was never a physically violent person.  His abuse was never that straight forward.  My father's weapon was his wicked ability to manipulate people and situations to favor him as the good guy and his "opponent" as the bad guy.   I believe this to be a self-preserving defense that started when he was very young.

The first story I am about to share, is one of the earliest that I can recall.  It was in the evening after dinner.  My sister and I were both up in our rooms.  I think we may have already been in bed.  My father had returned home from work late.  As I recall, my mother had been taking a class at the local community college and had missed the class because my father had not come home and she couldn't leave us kids.  I remember the yelling between my parents but don't remember any of the exact argument.  I do remember, however, my father coming up to my sister's and my room and asking us to come down to the kitchen to clean up the plates that my mother had thrown at him.  We went downstairs and I can still see my mother's face as we picked up the broken pieces of the plates.  Pure anger and understanding of what my father was trying to do.  Make her look like the crazy evil person.  I think my father knew my mother had figured him out, and was doing his best to discredit her so that he didn't have to face up to being anything other than a victim.  What parent would bring children down to pick up after a fight?  One that wanted to document in your brain the incident. wanted witness to the reaction by our mother.  Completely manipulated and passive aggressive type of behavior.  It reminds me of poking a dog with a stick over and over and then running to someone when it finally bites you because its had enough.  Instead of taking ownership to his role in the situation, he tried to pass blame.  I cant imagine how frustrated my mother must have been to actually break her dishes.  She has always cared for things, she must have been trying to break through to him by such an action but it was lost on him.  People with npd can not change, they cant identify in themselves, the things that they do to harm others.  They only take care of themselves.