Secret of the vasectomy....

when I was in college, my father started dating a woman who is now currently his wife.  Prior to her my dad had dated a wonderful woman for close to seven years.  in a matter of one summer, she was gone and this woman appeared.  she is much younger than my father.  I am not exactly sure of her age but know that she is a year or two older than my oldest brother.  everything about her was kept secret.  From what I was able to gather, my father and his friend met her at a bar.  his friend started a relationship with her first.  she was separated from her husband and jumped at the chance to move to another state with my dad's friend.  have no idea what she did with her kids during that time but she did say that when things didn't work out, she had written a check off his account and came back to Illinois.  upon returning to Illinois, she rung up my father and asked if she could earn money cleaning his house.  I don't know about you but if I broke up with a guy, I don'tthink I would have been calling his friend to make money.  I know there has to be more to the story.  I remember my dad advising me if his friend did call not let on that I knew of her.  Strange.  This man had been a friend and business partner for well over 25 years.  didn't add up to me and I just never felt comfortable of the situation.  to this day I really don't know much about her but I think it is safe to say that she is a life line to my father's narcissism.  she feeds him with her praise and disbelief that my father is anything other than perfect. 

I have to wonder how she would feel if she knew one of the family secrets.  Im sure he could deny it and say it was a lie but others know and medically it could be proven.  I remember once being at the house my dad had put her up in, we were in the kitchen and she pulled out her pill pack and tookher daily dose of birth control.  She told me that she had told my dad that if he wanted to have any more kids that they would need to get on it.  She was in her 30's and my dad was in his 50's.   I remember thinking, dad didn't want the kids he had pretty sure he wasn't in going down that route again.  but as usual I kept it to myself.  a while later I was relating this story to my second oldest brother, he started laughing and told me that dad had, had a vasectomy.  I was surprised and we both shook our heads wondering why he wouldn't just tell her that.   just another of my dad's secrets we were not to share.  Some ten years later she told me that she had recently had her tubes tied.  by now they were married.  I didn't know what to say so just kept quiet.  Months ago I was with my mother and they story came up.  She filled me in on the whole backstory as to why he had a vasectomy.  it was curious since my mom had had a total hysterectomy as to why he would have done that after.  wellapparently one night my mother had received a phone call from a woman telling her that she had my father's baby.  she said after that he went and got himself fixed.  now talk about a bombshell!  there is another one of us kids out there????  asked my mother for more details but she never knew what had come of it.  my heart broke for her, she had kept this secret for all these years.  she must have been so humiliated by that call.  what an awful thing to go through.  I asked if the woman had said she was pregnant or if the woman had a baby.  My mom said that as she recalled there was an actual baby.  well whether there is or whether there isn't, I will never know but now I have the whole demented story of why my father got a vasectomy.  I am hoping that if there was a child he/she had little contact with "our" father.  the story would be so much sadder for that child if he/she had to handle the emotional abuse that we had on top of being an illegitimate child.  wishing him or her a life a peace and unconditional love!